The glory days of the video cassette, when video stores had the curtained "back room" and the 3-B's (blood, breasts and beasts) reigned over the horror video market. A time long since forgotten. Chopping Mall perhaps one of the best examples of the time. Eye catching bloody box cover art, a big time VHS company logo on the side, and a "R" rating on the back. What kid wouldn't see this on the shelf and not want to rent it? That was the case for me anyway as a youth when it comes to Chopping Mall.
You don't need to know the plot. It doesn't matter, all you need to know is that killer robots have sparked to life and are killing (...chopping, if you will) a group of kids who work in the mall and are partying there after hours. Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet 1984) leads the "star" power as the wholesome chick who is not like her whoreish friend/co-workers. She just finds love after the mall has closed it's gates with a dude while they watch b-movies with each other. The romantic sub-plot gets blown to bits as heads start to explode off, and throats are slit by hands of the new security bots roaming the shopping center.
(the last precious moment before death...by laser from a killbot)
Now, I know what you're thinking...mechanical killers and a mall, sounds gaytarded, and you'd be very wrong. This is hands down the Citizen Kane of killer-robot-run-amok-in mall-vs. teens-exposed breasts-propane bomb films. This isn't your parent's malfunctioned-robot-massacre-in a mall movies. That's a fact. This is the end all be all.
(Johnny-5 is a bitch)
Chances are you've seen it, as it has cult status, but if you haven't I highly suggest it. Mindless action, some good gore, a head explodes, there are naked chicks, and (of course) a shit load of killer robots who have a taste for stupid shit teens. Keep your eye out for the use of 80's movie poster art, and while your at it check out director Jim Wynorski's other movies (Busty Cops, The Breastford Wives, The Da Vinci Coed, and House on Hooter Hill) as they're also of high caliber and should not be missed.
Classic flick right here.
10/10
5 comments:
Damn, I have GOT to see this movie. Even if only for the name.
hard LOL at the johnny 5 reference.
holy shit doooooode...good call on the Chop...i fucking love Wynorski...great review my friend...
Thanks guys, October like a motherfucker.
I finally got around to watching this tonight. so awesome, gotta love a flick that knows its audience. lolled hard at dick miller's cameo.
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